Negative Nelly rant.

Hello out there, it's Dolly.

So since my last post I have had 2 full days of college. I know, so far I am blogging everyday, but it has only been 3 days and I am just eager to get this going I guess. So college was...well....alright I guess...I put on a smile, made some jokes, generally I came across to people as my usual self. I wasn't sure how I would act when I got to college but then all I could think was that I didn't want people to know that I am struggling with depression and my anxiety, I guess there's an element of me feeling ashamed of it, as if it is a sign on weakness, which I think to a lt of people it is, so yeah I decided to hide it as much as could. I got on with my work and I'm actually quite ahead. 

With me seeming myself at college, almost to the point that I am nearly convincing myself that I am fine and being ahead in work and enjoying my actual college course...you would think that I would start to feel even slightly better, or even just kind of positive towards things, but I'm really not, as soon as I get off the bus from college my smile disappears, and I kind of go back to keeping quiet and to myself, because I don't have to hide, or impress anyone, I can essentially feel sorry for myself and wallow in my crappy mood.

I know, I sound like the silliest person who feels crap and wants everyone else to as well, but actually its not like that, I am unfortunately  stuck in a battle with my emotions, which is actually all chemicals, and I want everyone around me to be happy, I like to please people and make them laugh and smile, it helps me if people are happy, so in a way I am a really positive person I am just stuck being a negative Nelly right now...

So I hope everyone has a lovely Wednesday.
Tah Tah For Now.
Dolly.